Nature can be cute, but it’s ours. Trees belong trimmed amidst chrome and concrete, and flowers belong where we fucking well put them. Cancer deserves zapping with every lab-spawned shit we can throw at it, headaches with codeine and hunger with stuff that comes chilled and shrink-wrapped and enclosed in bright plastic. Every fruit and vegetable known to humankind should be available, year-round, to every person, breathtakingly displayed in humongous air-conditioned well-lit frackin' hypermarkets. Anyone who wants to should be able to drive a shiny orange SUV the size of frackin' Belgium. Especially if it’s just a quick nip down to the local shops. Charles Windsor wants beating and raping with a giant organic dildo.
If plastics make men infertile, make better plastics. If fossil fuels are frackin' up the planet, make better fuels. Pesticides are poisonous? Make better frackin’ pesticides. If certain resources are getting scarce, find new ones, or design better systems. If all the salty goodness isn’t available to everyone, get a better frackin’ economic theory and distribute shit more fairly.
Going back to living like fucking cavemen and revelling in the bullshit faux honest dirty glory of it is not a frackin’ option, bitch. Dying in childbirth aged 15 is fracked up. Never knowing what dialectical materialism or the zipless fuck is because you spend too much time in the frackin’ fields to ever pick up a book is fracked up. Having only 4 tv channels to choose from is fracked up. Orgasming the first time you see a fucking avocado, and thinking fondly back to the days when you’d never heard of a venti skinny macchiato with extra caramel is fracked up.
Get over it, bitch.
If plastics make men infertile, make better plastics. If fossil fuels are frackin' up the planet, make better fuels. Pesticides are poisonous? Make better frackin’ pesticides. If certain resources are getting scarce, find new ones, or design better systems. If all the salty goodness isn’t available to everyone, get a better frackin’ economic theory and distribute shit more fairly.
Going back to living like fucking cavemen and revelling in the bullshit faux honest dirty glory of it is not a frackin’ option, bitch. Dying in childbirth aged 15 is fracked up. Never knowing what dialectical materialism or the zipless fuck is because you spend too much time in the frackin’ fields to ever pick up a book is fracked up. Having only 4 tv channels to choose from is fracked up. Orgasming the first time you see a fucking avocado, and thinking fondly back to the days when you’d never heard of a venti skinny macchiato with extra caramel is fracked up.
Get over it, bitch.
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